Camp Hope provides grief services to community
Program includes children of nonhospice patients
Children from all walks of life — the suburbs, inner cities, wealthy and poor families — come to play sports, swim, and create arts and crafts for a weekend. While those campers come from diverse backgrounds, they come to Camp Hope in Homestead, FL, with a single, but compelling event in common: Their hearts are broken from the loss of loved ones and need help in mending their fragile spirits.
For the last four years, Catholic Hospice in Miami Lakes, FL, has held the three-day camp for children who have recently experienced a death of a close relative with the understanding that children are often forgotten during times of mourning.
Adding to a child’s shock and confusion at the death of a brother, sister, or parent is the unavailability of other family members, who may be so shaken by grief that they are not able to cope with the normal responsibility of childcare.
In fact, says Eric Storch, PsyD, director of support services at Catholic Hospice, children are often called the "forgotten mourners." When a family experiences a death, children are often left to grieve alone, while parents tend to funeral arrangements and later try to work through their own grief. At school, the death of a family member and accompanying grief can cause the child to feel set apart from his or her classmates. Ultimately, the child is left feeling isolated and lonely.
"Children have special needs," says Storch. "We felt as if we had an obligation to design something that meets their needs."
Avoiding cost limitations
While many hospices understand the special circumstances of children in the grieving process, they are only able to meet the needs of grieving children whose relative had been a patient in their follow-up bereavement programs. The cost of those programs is not reimbursed through Medicare, leaving hospices with the responsibility of raising money to fund this essential component of hospice care.
Camp Hope, which hosts about 80 children every year, costs Catholic Hospice $11,000, Storch says. Rather than reaching into the hospice’s general fund, the cost of the camp, plus additional supplies, are paid through monetary and in-kind donations from area businesses, charitable foundations, and individuals, many of which already support the hospice through annual donations.
The thought of a community-based children’s bereavement program, one that addresses the bereavement needs of children whose relative may not have been a hospice patient, is difficult for most hospices to entertain because of the cost associated with it.
But, Storch says, it’s an event that most hospices can afford; and considering the level of positive community feedback, it may be one that hospices cannot afford to ignore.
"It’s a good marketing tool," he says. "It might set you apart from other hospices in your area."
Aside from the marketing benefits, staging a bereavement camp fits the mission of hospice and addresses an ignored community need. While there are monetary costs associated with holding a communitywide bereavement camp, hospices should consider the costs associated with allowing childhood grief to go untreated in its own community.
Children who come to Camp Hope have spent a year on average trying to deal with their grief, often unsuccessfully. According to Storch, it isn’t unusual for campers to come to camp exhibiting one or more of the following signs:
• Extended period of depression in which the child loses interest in daily activities and events.
• Inability to sleep, loss of appetite, prolonged fear of being alone.
• Acting much younger for an extended period.
• Excessive imitating of the deceased.
• Repeated statements of wanting to join the deceased.
• Withdrawal from friends.
• Sharp drop in school performance or refusal to attend school.
According to Teen Age Grief, a Newhall, CA-based nonprofit organization that trains people in dealing with bereaved children, the effects of ignored grief symptoms can range from an inability to hold stable relationships as an adult to violent behavior. Left alone with their grief, children are at risk of the following behavior:
• Drug and alcohol abuse.
When an individual is in severe emotional pain, there is often the desire to avoid that pain by "numbing out," says Linda Cunningham, founder and director of Teen Age Grief.
Cunningham says a common denominator among adolescent drug or alcohol abusers is the loss of a loved one. She cites a survey of a California drug and rehabilitation hospital for adolescents that showed 86% to 92% of its patients had experienced a loss of someone significant.
• Violent behavior.
When a death occurs, teens may be tempted to strike out, not knowing what to do with their anger, Cunningham says. Adults have difficulty understanding the grief process, so it stands to reason that children will have a more difficult time in finding a safe way to deal with their emotions. As a result, keeping grief bottled inside can lead to violent or reckless behavior. According to Teen Age Grief, about 300 incarcerated teens were surveyed at a California Youth Authority facility; 96% indicated that someone significant in their life had died.
• Low self-esteem.
Children need the opportunity to process their feelings of loss to avoid feeling victimized. That feeling of powerlessness will follow them throughout their lives, affecting their abilities to cope with loss in future, says Cunningham.
On the other hand, a child who is given the opportunity to understand and process their feelings of loss will feel empowered with the tools to handle losses that will continue to occur throughout life.
"These feelings of grief don’t just go away," Cunningham says. "If they are not given a chance to process their grief, it will affect other aspects of their life."
Acknowledge their emotions
With this in mind, Camp Hope does not pretend to be able to solve a child’s grief in three short days. Instead, the idea is to get them started on the road to healing. Organizers of Camp Hope set forth four goals for campers:
1. Affirm and validate the grief experience.
2. Affirm and validate to enjoy life and experience positive emotions.
3. Begin to integrate sadness and happiness in his or her effort to work through the grief experience.
4. Provide support for parents or guardians.
According to Cunningham, programs that help children deal with their grief should help them understand and process their emotions, and provide concrete tools to assist them in their healing process. For example, children at risk of drug and alcohol abuse should be taught that they are putting grief "on hold," and merely numbing their pain will only complicate and prolong their attempts at recovery.
Camp Hope uses a curriculum of music and art therapy, group discussions, and symbolism, such as a butterfly release, as a way to get campers to begin to openly discuss their grief. For many participants, grief has been buried within as a way to protect remaining members of the family from further stress.
The camp allows boys and girls to break out of their isolation. Feelings of loneliness are addressed early on when campers find themselves surrounded by others going through the same process. The opportunity to share prior-to-the-camp feelings that they felt they wrestled with alone can now be shared with others who are going through the same process, Storch says.
"Our camp is designed to go from icebreaker to intimate disclosure," he says.
Camp begins on a Friday afternoon in early November. The pace is light at first, with campers meeting their counselors and fellow campers. Discussions about individual loss are kept to a minimum while participants begin familiarize themselves with each other and staff and begin to build trust.
On Saturday, grief work becomes more intense as the day goes on. Children are asked to share their loss with others in group discussions. But the somber mood of the day is broken up by fun activities such as swimming, sports, and hayrides. This serves two purposes, Storch says. First, it allows children a break from intense emotions. Second, it gives participants a chance to begin integrating their sadness with happiness to help them realize that it is normal to feel both. Also, the time spent with others allows those children who had been withdrawn to begin reinvesting in new relationships.
A memorial service is held on Saturday night to honor campers’ deceased relatives. Group counseling follows the service.
On Sunday, campers participate in a slate of activities such as art and music therapy. The events of the weekend culminate in a symbolic event meant to leave participants feeling renewed. This year, Camp Hope will stage a butterfly release, symbolizing the beauty of life’s changes.
The success of bereavement camps such as Camp Hope depends on the balance of therapy and fun, says Cunningham. "You don’t want to drown them with their grief, but I’ve seen some camps that don’t work enough with grief."
Yet, what makes those events attractive and why Cunningham would like to see more of them held around the country is that they give grieving children a place to explore their emotions at length.
"Support groups work for children — that’s been shown," Cunningham says. "But for most, it’s an hour and, See you next week.’ Camp gives them a longer time to process their emotions where they can be with other kids their age in a place where they don’t feel like they are the only ones feeling they way they do."
A separate fundraising event
According to Storch, hospices considering something similar have to treat the event as a separate fundraising project, complete with its own team of fundraisers. Storch, who oversees all of Catholic Hospice’s bereavement services, acts as Camp Hope’s director, in charge of raising money throughout the year. Yet, while he oversees the planning and fundraising, he stresses the importance of hospicewide support.
"This is not a one-person event," Storch says. "The agency needs to be committed to it."
Camp Hope has been an easy sell to corporate supporters, he says. In the beginning, Catholic Hospice focused on the large employers with charitable foundations, high-profile organizations in the Miami area, and the United Way. Since then, organizations such as the Florida Marlins have been annual supporters.
On the other side of the coin is the recruitment of campers. Marketing the event is three-fold. Children of hospice patients are invited as part of the yearlong bereavement care follow-up. The remaining two targets require direct-mail marketing to area schools and hospitals. Promotional material is sent to school guidance counselors who may already be working with students who have lost loved ones. The counselors are asked to contact the child’s parents or guardians to invite the student to participate. Similar invitations are sent to social workers at area hospitals.
Ultimately, the camp should be treated as a community event that involves as many segments of the community as possible. "It should demonstrate to the community that you are here for them," Storch says.
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