Give Staff This Exercise on Death and Grief
CareOne Home Health of Savannah, GA, has used this experiential exercise with staff to help them understand grief and regret.
Instructions:
1. Draw a horizontal line on a piece of paper.
2. Put your birth date at the beginning of the line.
3. Put your estimated death date at the end of the line.
4. Mark the line where you are now.
5. Tear the paper into five pieces and answer the following items, one per piece:
• What inanimate object is most important to you?
• Write about someone with whom you have some unfinished business.
• Write about someone you love who loves you.
• What is one goal for the future?
• What is your favorite physical activity?
6. Read the following script:
You have just been informed that you have pancreatic cancer with metastasis and told that you have less than six months to live. Lifestyle changes will be necessary in order for you to afford the treatments. You will need to decrease household costs and continue to work as long as possible. You feel tired, with some abdominal pain but can function to carry out most of your daily activities. You feel like this is "not real," just a temporary problem to solve.
7. Give up one of your five pieces of paper and read the following script:
One month has passed. You are experiencing a slight increase in pain and much more fatigue. You require rest periods both morning and afternoon and are now unable to continue with your job. You are finding it increasingly difficult to fulfill minimal day-to-day responsibilities. You feel sad as well as frustrated and angry by your physical limitations.
8. Give up a second piece of paper and read the following script:
Two weeks have passed. You are short of breath and have a lot of abdominal distension and pain. You are no longer able to wear your usual clothing due to the abdominal distension. You find it difficult to tolerate physical activities due to pain. You are able to walk with help but are spending much more time in bed.
9. Give up a third piece of paper and read the following script:
Two more weeks have passed. You are bedbound now. You have lost a lot of weight and now have bed sores. The abdominal distension is still present. In addition, you are sleeping a lot because of the amount of required pain medicine. You feel sad and depressed when awake.
10. Give up a fourth piece of paper and read the following script:
You are now semi-conscious. You are incontinent, and the decubiti are worsening. You can feel physical contact and hear conversations and music in the room but are unable to respond. You feel at peace and have much less pain than you have previously experienced.
11. Give up your last piece of paper.
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