Program dealing with sudden loss makes holidays easier
Focus is on learning coping strategies
Several months after Delta flight 5191 crashed in Lexington, KY, killing 49 people, family members of those who perished continued to have problems coping with their loss, particularly as the December holiday season began.
So the Hospice of the Bluegrass, Lexington office, offered a series of group sessions to help people who experienced a sudden loss, including those affected by the plane crash, to cope with the holiday season.
The first group session was titled, "Just coping with the holidays," says Mary K. Fedorchuk, LCSW, OSWC, a social worker with the hospice.
"We talked about how to focus on what's normal," Fedorchuk says. "Wherever someone is in his or her grief, it's a normal and okay place to be."
People dealing with sudden loss also were given ideas about how to change some traditions and keep others in a way that keeps their loved one a part of the family tradition, she says.
For example, the session attendees made candles that could be lit at evening meals to evoke the presence of the person who has died, Fedorchuk says.
"In these groups, people have the ability to share or not share," she notes. "What we heard from people is how difficult the holidays are, but how it was nice to come to the group session because they felt cared for."
Each group session provided attendees with meals, as well as the materials needed for the group activities.
The second session held in December was called "A night of remembrance," and attendees were asked to bring something that spoke to them about the person who was lost, Fedorchuk recalls.
People brought stuffed animals, photos, and other types of items that reminded them of their loved ones, she says.
"We talked about the reality of the loss and how that was for them," she says. "So the night of remembrance was letting them talk about their loved one, letting them share their story."
About one-third of those attending the second session had lost a loved one in the plane crash, but the circumstances of the sudden loss were not important as they each shared the common experience of loss and shock, Fedorchuk says.
"There were murders, auto accidents, drug overdoses," she says. "There was a bonding, and we didn't single out any one person's loss or talk about the plane crash, but focused on a general overview of sudden loss."
The people who had lost family in the plane crash did not want to be singled out because they were aware that other people were suffering less public losses, Fedorchuk says.
Finally, after the holidays in January, the third session was about "Taking care of yourself."
It was an evening of care in which attendees talked about massage, touch therapy, aroma therapy, music and art therapy, Fedorchuk says.
"We talked about the ways in everyday life you can take a moment to care for yourself," she says. "You don't have to go out to do something, but you can put on some soothing music or cook something that evokes a sense of comfort for you."
People who are creative can make something or write in a journal, she says.
This session also focused on the importance of sleep, exercise, and eating appropriately.
"And we ended the session with a visualization, giving people that sense that there are things out there that they can do by themselves or in a group or have a professional help them with," Fedorchuk says. "Because of the mind-body connection and how our bodies react to that kind of stress, we have to acknowledge this and take care of the whole person, including the spiritual side."
The people who attended the sudden loss sessions expressed feelings of safety in coming there where they can be part of a group and have some of their needs met, Fedorchuk says.
"There is a challenge for them because people tend to want to isolate and they have a fear of expressing themselves in an open forum, but once they come here they find it very healing," she adds.
Several months after Delta flight 5191 crashed in Lexington, KY, killing 49 people, family members of those who perished continued to have problems coping with their loss, particularly as the December holiday season began.You have reached your article limit for the month. Subscribe now to access this article plus other member-only content.
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